Trying to imagine a relationship without ‘games’ is like trying to imagine a world without weather conditions. It is just not possible. When we say that they “don’t need games” what they really suggest is that they don’t want unwell games, or stupid games. From perspective it could be declared the whole of life’s a game, so it is obvious to accept that what are the results in relationships are ‘games’ of just one sort or another. As a result, there is nothing derogatory about the expression ‘game’, games are only a problem if they are negative in some way.
Games are usually negative when they are completed purely for result without being willing to engage the consequences. If I pretend to like someone that I am aware I really don’t love as a way of getting one thing from them (attention, sexual intercourse, free drinks) next that is a sick video game – particularly if I am aware the other person likes myself. It would mean that I has been leading them about and playing with their particular feelings, knowing full properly that I was going to damage or disappoint them at the first opportunity to get what I want from elsewhere.
If I am playful with someone that I like (or that there seems to be a fair chance that I will like them) by flirting a bit, or paying the compliments in roundabout ways that can be a fun and very healthy game for both parties. It can be a way of letting someone know that I have good feeling for them without having to just blurt it out.
Why not just tell them you like them?
Sometimes it is best just to tell the person that you like them. But, how often is that really the best thing to do? It can really put the person on the spot if we do that. We have all had experiences of thinking that someone who we had just met was going to become a real friend, or a partner, only to find that as we got to know them the individual turned out to be very different from what we should expected. We all learn how to have defences of one type or another. Games are a way associated with playfully letting down some our defences in a way that provides for us a way out, with out too much embarrassment upon either side, if it just about all goes pear shaped. Basically have really obtained a liking for you personally early in a relationship as well as came right out as well as said it you might really feel obliged to return the actual compliment, but really feel awkward that you do not really feel ready to do so. You might have number of other various adverse reactions; you might embarrass myself, you might wonder things i was after, you may have been thinking “Gee, how do i get away from this person.Inch and then feel responsible when I was good to you.
Of course, you may have a positive response as well. A well-delivered compliment can certainly help a relationship. However, I’d need to make sure that I respected your process and the time you need to make up your mind about another person. Rather than make the compliment too direct it might be best to play it safe in and compliment you in roundabout ways in the beginning. I can compliment your dress sense, or you hairstyle, for example. Or, I can make indirect complements like “Anyone as fit looking as you would…” or “I can see you keep yourself in shape. Do you work out a lot…”. Really I am saying that I like you, and you will know that, yet somehow it is safe and non-threatening. That is the essence of a healthy game. Learn more about dating sites.